How OCD manifests in women
How OCD Manifests in Women: Understanding the Link Between OCD, Shame, and Compulsions
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often misunderstood, especially when it shows up in ways that people feel too embarrassed or ashamed to talk about. At Dana Colthart Therapy, we specialize in helping women across New Jersey who are struggling with OCD, anxiety, and the heavy burden of shame that can come with intrusive thoughts and compulsions.
In this post, we’ll explore how OCD manifests in women, common subtypes like relationship OCD, contamination OCD, sexual orientation OCD, harm OCD, just right OCD, and other forms that may feel socially unacceptable — and how specialized therapy can help.
What Does OCD Look Like in Women?
OCD affects people of all genders, but women may experience unique themes or triggers based on their life circumstances, roles, and social pressures.
Common OCD Subtypes in Women
👉 Relationship OCD (ROCD) — Intrusive doubts about whether you truly love your partner or whether they’re the “right one.” This can lead to constant checking, seeking reassurance, or endlessly analyzing your feelings.
👉 Contamination OCD — Fears of germs, illness, or spreading contamination, leading to excessive cleaning, hand-washing, or avoidance of certain places or people.
👉 Sexual Orientation OCD (SO-OCD) — Intrusive doubts about your sexual orientation that don’t align with how you identify. Women with SO-OCD may feel overwhelmed by guilt or confusion.
👉 Harm OCD — Disturbing thoughts or images of hurting loved ones, children, or even strangers — despite having no desire to cause harm.
👉 Just Right OCD — The need for things to feel or look “perfect” or “balanced,” with distress if something feels off.
👉 Other “taboo” or “socially unacceptable” OCD themes — Intrusive thoughts about harming a baby, engaging in inappropriate sexual acts, or violating deeply held moral or religious beliefs.
The Hidden Shame of OCD
OCD is often called the “doubting disorder” — but for many women, it’s also a disorder of shame.
💭 Why?
Because the intrusive thoughts and images that come with OCD are often the opposite of a person’s values. These unwanted thoughts can feel horrifying or repulsive, leading to:
Silence — Many women feel too ashamed to share their thoughts, fearing judgment or misunderstanding.
Isolation — Shame causes people to withdraw from loved ones and support systems.
Compulsions driven by shame — Mental rituals, checking, confessing, or avoiding situations in an attempt to “undo” or neutralize these thoughts.
The Link Between OCD, Compulsions, and Shame
OCD creates a painful cycle:
1️⃣ An intrusive thought, image, or doubt appears.
2️⃣ The thought feels threatening, disgusting, or shameful.
3️⃣ The person feels deep distress and shame: “What kind of person would think this?”
4️⃣ They perform a compulsion (mental or physical) to try to feel better.
5️⃣ Temporary relief — but then the thoughts return, and the shame deepens.
Over time, compulsions strengthen the OCD cycle, while shame keeps people stuck and afraid to seek help.
How Therapy Can Help
At Dana Colthart Therapy, we provide specialized OCD treatment for women across New Jersey through virtual therapy sessions.
We use:
✅ Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) — The gold standard for breaking the OCD cycle by helping you face your fears without compulsions.
✅ Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) — To challenge unhelpful thought patterns.
✅ Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) — To help you move through shame and focus on what truly matters to you.
💻 Virtual therapy is available across New Jersey — so whether you’re in Jersey City, Hoboken, Montclair, Princeton, Cherry Hill, or anywhere in between, we’re here for you.
Ready to Break Free from OCD and Shame?
You don’t have to face OCD alone. If you’re struggling with intrusive thoughts, shame, or compulsions, reach out today.
👉 Visit www.danacolthart.com to learn more or schedule your free consultation.
👉 Serving adolescents and adults across New Jersey with virtual therapy for OCD and anxiety.
