When the Holidays Expose Anxiety, OCD, and Disordered Eating
The holidays are supposed to be a time of connection, joy, and rest. Yet for many people across Bergen County—from Ridgewood to Tenafly, Englewood Cliffs to Franklin Lakes—the holidays quietly became something else entirely.
Instead of feeling present, you felt on edge.
Instead of enjoying meals, you felt anxious or trapped.
Instead of connection, your mind was stuck in loops of worry, intrusive thoughts, or body image distress.
On the outside, everything may have looked fine. Inside, anxiety, OCD, or disordered eating took center stage—and now that the holidays are over, the weight of it all is settling in.
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. And more importantly, nothing about this means you failed.
When Mental Health Takes Over the Holidays
Many people are surprised by how hard the holidays feel. You may have told yourself, “Once I slow down, I’ll feel better,” only to find that the quiet made your thoughts louder.
We often hear from adults in Alpine, Saddle River, Upper Saddle River, and Woodcliff Lake who describe the holidays as emotionally exhausting rather than restful. Anxiety didn’t pause. OCD didn’t take a break. Eating disorder thoughts didn’t soften just because it was a special occasion.
Instead, people experienced:
Constant “what if” thoughts that wouldn’t turn off
Hyperawareness of food, weight, or body image
Increased mental checking, reassurance-seeking, or rituals
Panic or dread around meals, travel, or gatherings
Feeling disconnected from loved ones despite being surrounded by them
For many, the most painful part wasn’t the anxiety itself, it was the disappointment. “This was supposed to feel different.”
The Quiet Shame After the Holidays
Once the decorations come down and routines return, a familiar wave often hits: shame.
You may think:
“Everyone else enjoyed themselves. Why couldn’t I?”
“I wasted time with my family stuck in my head.”
“I should be grateful, but I just feel drained.”
This shame keeps people stuck. It convinces them to minimize what they’re dealing with or push themselves harder instead of seeking support.
But anxiety, OCD, and disordered eating are not personal failures. They are conditions driven by fear, avoidance, and the nervous system—not by a lack of effort or appreciation.
Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work for Anxiety, OCD, and Eating Disorders
As January approaches, many people turn to New Year’s resolutions hoping this will finally be the year things change.
Common resolutions sound like:
“I’ll stop overthinking.”
“I’ll eat normally.”
“I’ll be more confident.”
“I won’t let anxiety control me.”
The intention is understandable. The problem is that resolutions rely on control, and anxiety-based conditions thrive on control.
Clients in Ho-Ho-Kus, Haworth, and throughout Bergen County often tell us they’ve tried this cycle many times. Motivation spikes briefly, then collapses the moment anxiety shows up again.
That’s because anxiety, OCD, and eating disorders don’t improve through willpower, logic, or positive thinking alone. In fact, trying harder often makes things worse.
Why “Trying to Fix Yourself” Keeps You Stuck
Most people approach anxiety the way they approach problems at work or school: analyze it, fix it, eliminate it.
Unfortunately, anxiety doesn’t respond to logic the way a spreadsheet does.
Common strategies that backfire include:
Arguing with anxious thoughts
Seeking reassurance to feel “certain”
Avoiding triggers to stay comfortable
Waiting until anxiety goes away before living
These strategies offer short-term relief but reinforce the idea that anxiety is dangerous. Over time, your world gets smaller.
This is why traditional talk therapy alone often isn’t enough for anxiety, OCD, or disordered eating. Insight without behavior change can unintentionally keep fear in control.
Anxiety Is Treatable—But the Approach Is Counterintuitive
Here is the hopeful truth: anxiety, OCD, and disordered eating are highly treatable with the right techniques.
But effective treatment often feels backward at first.
Instead of:
Eliminating anxiety
Controlling thoughts
Avoiding discomfort
Treatment focuses on:
Allowing anxiety to exist
Changing how you respond to thoughts
Taking action even when fear is present
This is where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) come in.
ACT Therapy: Changing Your Relationship With Anxiety
ACT is a values-based, evidence-based therapy that helps people build psychological flexibilitythe ability to experience thoughts and emotions without being controlled by them.
For people in Tenafly, Franklin Lakes, and Englewood Cliffs who feel trapped by anxiety, ACT offers a different path forward.
You Are Not Your Thoughts
Anxiety sounds convincing because it feels urgent and threatening. ACT teaches cognitive defusion, which helps you step back from thoughts instead of believing them automatically.
A thought like “What if something terrible happens?” becomes something you notice—not something you must obey.
This doesn’t make thoughts disappear, but it dramatically reduces their power.
Making Space for Anxiety
ACT emphasizes acceptance—not resignation, but willingness. Anxiety rises and falls on its own when it’s no longer treated as an emergency.
Many people discover that anxiety becomes more manageable once they stop fighting it.
Living by Values, Not Fear
Rather than asking, “How do I stop feeling anxious?” ACT asks:
“How do I want to live, even when anxiety is present?”
Values become your compass—relationships, purpose, growth, connection. Anxiety no longer gets to decide your actions.
ERP: Breaking the Avoidance Cycle
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is one of the most effective treatments for anxiety and OCD.
ERP works by helping you gradually face feared thoughts, sensations, or situations without engaging in safety behaviors like avoidance, checking, or reassurance.
For example:
Allowing intrusive thoughts without neutralizing them
Staying present during meals without compensatory behaviors
Sitting with uncertainty rather than resolving it
Over time, your nervous system learns a powerful lesson: discomfort is tolerable, and anxiety is not dangerous.
Clients across Bergen County often describe ERP as challenging—but life-changing.
Disordered Eating and Body Image During the Holidays
For many people, the holidays intensify struggles with food and body image.
Common experiences include:
Obsessive thoughts about eating or weight
Fear of meals or certain foods
Guilt, shame, or compensation after eating
Body image distress triggered by photos or gatherings
Disordered eating often overlaps with anxiety and OCD, making treatment more complex—but also more targeted when addressed correctly.
ACT and ERP help reduce food fear, rigidity, and body monitoring while supporting flexibility and self-compassion.
January Doesn’t Need a New You…It Needs a New Approach!
You don’t need another resolution that sets you up to feel like you failed by February.
You don’t need to become calmer, thinner, or more disciplined to deserve peace.
What you need is support that helps you:
Stop avoiding your life
Respond differently to anxiety and intrusive thoughts
Build skills instead of rules
Reclaim moments that matter
For many people in Bergen County and across New Jersey, January becomes a turning point—not because anxiety disappears, but because they stop letting it run the show.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If the holidays revealed how much anxiety, OCD, or disordered eating is limiting your life, help is available.
At Clear Light Therapy, we provide evidence-based, action-oriented treatment using ACT and ERP for adults throughout Bergen County and New Jersey, both in-person and virtually.
You don’t have to wait until things get worse. You don’t have to keep white-knuckling through your days.
This year can be different—not because you force yourself to change, but because you learn a new way to respond. Reach out today!!!
